It is estimated that 90% of women will be in charge of their finances at some point in their lifetimes. Becoming a widow or being divorced are two common ways this happens. Women may become their own Chief Financial Officer suddenly and without notice. These circumstances require women to manage their financial affairs on their own, possibly at a time when they are experiencing a decrease in income and going through a period of mental and emotional turmoil.
 
Women face unique challenges in establishing financial security. They tend to live longer than men, so they are exposed to a variety of extra financial demands. Women often make a choice early in their careers to spend time at home taking care of young children, a choice which affects their total income over their career. Additionally, the average wage for women is still below that of men overall.
 
Despite the obvious importance of financial planning for females, many refrain from discussing finances even with those they are close to. For single women who are developing a new relationship with a potential life partner, shyness about money matters can combine with concerns about rocking the boat to stifle important discussions about each other’s financial condition and future cooperation.
 
Limiting beliefs and fears

1. Fear of being a burden: Women often do not want to be a burden financially or socially. They would not want their parents, children or often even spouses to have to bear the weight of them financially. They will duck out of talking about money for fear of upsetting loved ones. 
2. Fear of making mistakes or not appearing to be smart enough: Women embody perfectionist tendencies alongside the fear of making mistakes, especially those that would have repercussions on their family’s wellbeing. Women tend to discount all that they know and the financial experience they have gained by running their career or managing their household.
3.  Learned thought patterns: Traditionally money has not been a subject discussed among women peers as it has within men’s social groups. The commonality of an issue can bring self-confidence when speaking about it, and money is not a frequent subject amongst women. There is a bad reputation associated with ladies who are overly concerned with the financial status of their potential partner or spouse, and even a natural curiosity about their financial security in a marriage can have some women feeling shallow or greedy. Historically men have controlled most of the world’s wealth, and women have relied on men for financial security. These tendencies will not change over one generation; economic equality will take time. Be aware of these limiting thoughts or the actions they may produce:
   1. Enjoying wealth is selfish
   2. There is never enough
   3. I am not worthy of wealth
   4. It is improper or rude to talk about money
   5. I should not be proud about money
   6. To be polite is to hide my success or abundance

To combat the status quo for women’s relationship to money, you can take immediate steps to change thoughts and take actions which help set you up for a mindset of success. Financial wellness is a long-term game, especially for women. The good news is that women tend to be naturally disposed to planning, saving and budgeting.
 
Imagine something different
First of all, it helps to be clear about what you want to change – if anything. Remember, if it isn’t broken, it may not need to be fixed. On the other hand, if your thoughts or actions are working against you, consider what would work better. Ask yourself how your ideal self might handle things differently. Would she be relaxed and confident when paying bills or reviewing account statements? Would she have a plan for achieving financial security? Would she talk assertively with her partner or potential partner about financial teamwork?
 
When you create a richly detailed image of what you prefer, you have taken a step forward toward making it happen. Create a daydream movie of you doing something differently, feeling differently, looking at things from a different perspective and reacting differently. The more detailed, the better. If it helps, write it down like a script. Rehearse it and then experiment with it in real life. Tip: Successful goals are realistically achievable ones. If you are currently avoiding adding up your assets, liabilities, and income and think you should, let doing that be your goal. Save analyzing your investment portfolio for next week.
 
Small successes are encouraging and invite further effort so try out one aspect of your financial role that you think you are pretty likely to do the way you want. If you have been anxious about becoming a “bag lady” and your goal is to feel more confident in your future, would examining the fear in a shorter timeframe help? If you aren’t likely to become homeless and friendless in the next week or month, then perhaps you can intentionally focus on feeling confident and relaxed while thinking only a short time ahead. Try experimenting how far out in the future you can imagine and remain confident. You might discover that as you do this, your thoughts change along with your feelings. For instance, you might find yourself wondering what it would take for you to feel confident five years out. More cash on hand? Having your car paid off? A more secure job? How could you make any of those things happen? You might find that you forget to be anxious because you have gotten so busy making plans. Each of us is unique, and you will create your own path forward.
 
Small changes can make a big difference
We sometimes get stuck because the gap between what we are doing and what we want to achieve is too great. Often a small change can have a surprisingly big impact, especially as time goes on. For instance, perhaps you have avoided talking with your partner about money, and you think it would be better if you were more of a team. Rather than trying to understand why you have held back or what your feelings are about it, what if you just did something different? Perhaps you could find out how much is in your checking account and simply comment on it with no intention of having a big discussion. Just say you thought you should be better informed. Could that lead to more conversation about your current finances and plans? Maybe, maybe not, but something will have changed.
 
The funny thing is that it doesn’t matter much what you do differently; change is stimulated by you doing something out of the ordinary routine. Equip yourself with an image of how you would like things to be, then get the ball rolling with one little action and see what happens.
 
When life changes, money changes
Divorce profoundly changes your finances. For most women, this means a decrease in the amount of money you have and the income available. This crisis can be an opportunity to grow if you are willing to experiment and adapt. When our lives have been turned upside down by tsunami events like divorce we are usually over-stressed and the natural tendency is to shut down. Our autopilot tends to rely on emotional and action habits that may reach back to our childhood because they are familiar even if they don’t work so well. Don’t add to your stress by forcing yourself to make changes while you are in the midst of turbulence. Look for indications that you are recovering your balance and when you are ready, try something different.
 
Life is constantly changing as are we. When you define the direction you prefer to take, you increase the odds of getting there. I wonder how you want to change and wish you well on your journey.
 
Tom Chancellor is a Certified Financial Planner Professional helping clients enhance their financial peace of mind. Tom spent 20 years as a marriage and family therapist and now incorporates resources from psychology, communications, and relationship studies in financial planning for people who experience life-changing events. Tom helps his clients and other financial professionals respond to life transitions such as divorce, death of a spouse, retirement, receipt of an inheritance and legal settlements. Contact Tom with questions at tom@teaktreecapital.com.
 
Securities offered through Comprehensive Asset Management and Servicing, Inc. (“CAMAS”), 2001 Hwy 46, Ste. 506, Parsippany, NJ 07054, 1-800- 637-3211. Member FINRA/SIPC. Teak Tree Capital Management, LLC, is independent of CAMAS.

A new study asserts that women feel uncomfortable discussing financial matters. The latest Money FIT Study from Fidelity Investments is generating some conversation within the financial industry. The investment giant commissioned an online poll of 1,542 female participants in its retirement plans, and 80% of the respondents indicated that talking about money matters was “too personal” or “uncomfortable” for them, even if the other party was someone they knew closely. 1,2

If this were 1965, this kind of response might seem reasonable ... but in 2016? Keep in mind that this was an online poll. The involved survey firm, Kelton, conducted it with the usual wide parameters. Responses were collected from both retired and working women. Respondents were aged 18 and up. 2
​
Two other key factoids from the study seem incongruous with this first one. In the same
online poll, 92% of the respondents said they wanted to learn more about financial planning
within the next year. Additionally, 83% noted that they would like to take more control over
their personal finances in the next 12 months. Accomplishing both objectives implies talking
about money and personal finance issues. 1

Another positive: female baby boomers seem to have more financial literacy. Digging deeper
into the study’s findings, 70% of the boomer women surveyed felt confident about retirement
saving and making a retirement transition, compared to 54% of Gen X women and 62% of Gen Y
women. Also, 63% of women in this demographic said they knew where to invest; just 48% of
Gen X women and 60% of Gen Y women did. 1

Why do we see this disconnect in the data? If women want to learn more about money and/or
possess reasonable financial knowledge, what accounts for their apparent reluctance to talk
about money matters with spouses, partners and friends? Is there a lack of confidence, a fear of
seeming ill-informed? Is the topic just boring?

Perhaps the answer to the last two questions is “yes.” The poll asked how likely respondents
would be to discuss certain issues with their spouses or partners, and while 78% said they
would likely have conversations about health issues, just 65% said they would be likely to chat
about investment ideas. Fidelity and Kelton also discovered that 65% of these workplace
retirement plan participants aren’t drawing on financial or investment guidance offered as a
complement to the plan. In fact, just 47% of these women indicated they would be confident
discussing money and investments in the presence of a financial professional. 1,2

At the typical company, workers of both genders would rather head out for lunch than set aside
a lunch hour for a meeting about “boring financial stuff.” Such a meeting, however, might help
them see the big picture of what they need to do for retirement and might motivate them more
than any website or article possibly could.

When financial professionals overcome that perception, employees awaken to the opportunity
that a workplace retirement plan presents and see its value; the topics of saving and investing
become much more compelling. When that perception remains in place, fewer employees ask
for guidance and many effectively do not know where to start, and that may promote
discomfort and awkwardness in chats about personal financial matters.

Women seem to invest capably whether they like talking about money or not. Fresh data
from SigFig (formerly WikiInvest) bears this out. In analyzing 750,000 investment portfolios,
SigFig found that the median 2014 net return for a woman investor was 4.7%. For men, it was
4.1%. SigFig also made an even more intriguing discovery: while women tend to invest more
conservatively than men prior to age 55, after age 55 they actually allocate a higher percentage
of their portfolios to equities than men do. 1

The new Fidelity study is a conversation starter, but it might best be taken with a few grains of
salt. Structure a multiple-choice survey question (and its answers) two or three different ways
and you may get two or three different responses. Your individual response to the challenge of
saving, investing and planning for retirement should be a confident one.

Tom Chancellor is a Certified Financial Planner Professional helping clients enhance their financial peace of mind. Tom spent 20 years as a marriage and family therapist and now incorporates resources from psychology, communications, and relationship studies in financial planning for people who experience life-changing events. Tom helps his clients and other financial professionals respond to life transitions such as divorce, death of a spouse, retirement, receipt of an inheritance and legal settlements. Contact Tom with questions at tom@teaktreecapital.com.
 
Securities offered through Comprehensive Asset Management and Servicing, Inc. (“CAMAS”), 2001 Hwy 46, Ste. 506, Parsippany,  NJ 07054,1-800-637-3211.  Member FINRA/SIPC. Teak Tree Capital Management, LLC,  is independent of CAMAS.

This material was prepared by MarketingPro, Inc., and does not necessarily represent the views of the presenting party, nor their affiliates. All information is believed to be from reliable sources; however we make no representation as to its completeness or accuracy. Please note -investing involves risk, and past performance is no guarantee of future results. The publisher is not engaged in rendering legal, accounting or other professional services. If assistance is needed, the reader is advised to engage the services of a competent professional. This information should not be construed as investment, tax or legal advice and may not be relied on for the purpose of avoiding any Federal tax penalty. This is neither a solicitation nor recommendation to purchase or sell any investment or insurance product or service, and should not be relied upon as such. All indices are unmanaged and are not illustrative of any particular investment.

Citations.
1 - forbes.com/sites/nextavenue/2015/02/12/money-the- subject-women- dont-want- to-discuss/ [2/12/15] 2 - plansponsor.com/Women_Have_Confidence_Gap_in_Financial_Matters.aspx [2/12/15]

If you have saved and invested consistently for retirement, you may find yourself ready to leave
work on your terms – with abundant free time, new opportunities, and wonderful adventures
ahead of you. The thing to keep in mind is that the reality of your retirement may not always correspond to your conception of retirement. There will inevitably be a degree of difference.

Some new retirees are better prepared for that difference than others. They learn things after
leaving work that they wished they could have learned about years earlier. So with that in
mind, here are a few of the little things people tend to realize after settling into retirement.

Your kids may see your retirement differently than you do. Some couples retire and figure on
spending more time with kids and grandkids – they hang onto that five-bedroom home even
though two people are living in it because they figure on regular family gatherings, or they
move to another state to be closer to their kids. Then they find out that their children didn’t
really count on being such frequent company.

Financial considerations come into play here as well. Keeping up a big home in retirement can
cost big dollars, and if you move to another area, there is always the chance that a promotion
or the right job offer could make your son or daughter relocate just a few years later. The
average American worker spends 4.6 years at a given job, and less than 10% of U.S. workers in
their twenties and thirties stay at the same job for a decade. 1

Medicare falls short when it comes to dental, vision and hearing care. Original Medicare (Parts A
& B) will pay for some things – cataract surgery and yearly glaucoma tests for people at risk for
that disease, for example, as well as dental procedures that are deemed necessary prior to
another medical procedure covered under Medicare. These are exceptions to the norm,
however, and as people’s sight, teeth and hearing become more problematic as they age, it can
be frustrating to realize what Medicare won’t cover. 2

You may lose the impulse to work a little. These days, most retirees at least think about
working part-time. Actually doing that may not be as easy as it first seems. It is a lot harder to
get hired at age 65 than it is at age 45 – no one is denying that – and part-time work tends
toward the mundane and unfulfilling. If you are able to earn income as a consultant or through
other types of self-employment, you may be truly satisfied by the work you do and be able to
set your own schedule, too.

Retirement income comes with income taxes. While retirees anticipate (and certainly
appreciate) distributions from an IRA or an employer-sponsored retirement plan, few retirees
map out a sequence or strategy intended to let them take distributions from retirement and
investment accounts with the least tax impact. Generally speaking, you want to draw down
your taxable accounts first, then the tax-advantaged accounts, and lastly your tax-free
accounts. This way, you are giving the retirement money that is taxed least more time to
compound.

Under the typical model withdrawal scenario, this sequencing a) offers the potential to reduce
the tax bite from all these distributions, b) promotes greater longevity for retirement savings.
The wealthier the retiree is and the higher the projected rate of return for his or her portfolio,
the more sense the strategy usually makes. If a retiree has very low taxable income or large
unrealized gains on taxable assets, it may not be wise to follow this rule of thumb. Health and
longevity factors also influence withdrawal strategies, of course. 3

Retirees also need to know something about the IRS rules for retirement accounts – if the
assets are withdrawn too soon or used for an inappropriate purpose, penalties can result and
tax advantages can be lost.

Retirement is a transition, but it isn’t a solution. There are people that are really eager to
retire, people that come to believe that retirement will wipe away all that is dull and restrictive
from their lives. Retiring often leads to a rewarding new phase of life, but it won’t solve health
issues, family dilemmas or business or money problems.

You may have plenty of time on your hands. If you and/or your spouse have routinely worked
50-60 hours a week, it can be tough to come down from that once you are retired. Your urge to
be productive will persist, and sooner or later, you will find ways to stay busy, contribute and
make a difference. Thinking about how you will spend your time in retirement before
retirement is wise, as you don’t want to risk staring at (or climbing) the walls. Adjusting to retired life takes a bit of time for everyone. Adjustment can become easier with a candid recognition of certain retirement realities.

Tom Chancellor is a Certified Financial Planner Professional helping clients enhance their financial peace of mind. Tom spent 20 years as a marriage and family therapist and now incorporates resources from psychology, communications, and relationship studies in financial planning for people who experience life-changing events. Tom helps his clients and other financial professionals respond to life transitions such as divorce, death of a spouse, retirement, receipt of an inheritance and legal settlements. Contact Tom with questions at tom@teaktreecapital.com.
 
Securities offered through Comprehensive Asset Management and Servicing, Inc. (“CAMAS”), 2001 Hwy 46, Ste. 506, Parsippany,  NJ 07054,1-800-637-3211.  Member FINRA/SIPC. Teak Tree Capital Management, LLC,  is independent of CAMAS.

This material was prepared by MarketingPro, Inc., and does not necessarily represent the views of the presenting party, nor their affiliates. This information has been derived from sources believed to be accurate. Please note - investing involves risk, and past performance is no guarantee of future results. The publisher is not engaged in rendering legal, accounting or other professional services. If assistance is needed, the reader is advised to engage the services of a competent professional. This information should not be construed as investment, tax or legal advice and may not be relied on for the purpose of avoiding any Federal tax penalty. This is neither a solicitation nor recommendation to purchase or sell any investment or insurance product or service, and should not be relied upon as such. All indices are unmanaged and are not illustrative of any particular investment.

Citations.
1 - marketwatch.com/story/americans-less- likely-to- change-jobs- now-than- in-1980s- 2014-01- 10 [1/10/14] 2 - ncoa.org/enhance-economic- security/benefits-access/how- to-get- help-for- dental.html [4/17/14] 3 - tiaa-crefinstitute.org/public/institute/research/trends_issues/ti_taxefficient_1006.html [10/06]

They say you should never discuss religion or politics at a dinner party, but money talk seems to cause even more discomfort among strangers and friends, alike. According to a SunTrust Bank survey, finances are the leading cause of stress in a relationship. Let’s look at three reasons why finances can cause so much friction and how to address them through healthy communication.

1. Differing Outlooks On Money
One of the big reasons is that multiple studies show that men and women view saving
and finances differently. Men are more likely to take risks with money than women.
Motivational speaker and budgeting expert, Dave Ramsey, explains that men use money
as a scorecard, whereas women see it as a security issue. As a result, women may
experience a higher level of fear when money problems arise.

2. Financial Infidelity
Beyond differing views, some couples may experience shame, secrecy, and resentment
regarding spending. According to a CreditCards.com poll, 1 in 5 Americans have spent
$500 or more without their partner’s knowledge, and 6% have maintained hidden bank
accounts or used secret credit cards. This is most often done so a spouse can avoid
conflict within his or her relationship.

3. Uneven Spending Between Spouses
It’s not uncommon for one spouse to spend more than the other. Interestingly enough,
people are more likely to consider themselves the saver. That same SunTrust survey
mentioned earlier revealed that 34% of respondents said they were the saver and that
their partner was the spender, and 13% said the reverse. This means that 47% of
respondents say they and their partner have different spending and saving habits.
Uneven spending can quickly cause friction as the saver may feel that the spender isn’t
managing his or her money well. And on the other side, the spender may feel as though
his or her spouse is micromanaging his or her habits.

Whether you have or are currently experiencing some or all of these issues, money doesn’t
have to be a pain point. Here are a few simple strategies that may help couples stay on the
same page and eliminate the discomforts of money talk.

Be Honest About Spending
Whether you’re married or live together, have a joint account or separate bank accounts, it’s
important for both partners to offer full disclosure of their finances and be open about expenses.
You and your spouse should be aware of how you spend your money, especially when it comes
to significant costs, loans, or ongoing fees. Studies show that around 49% of financial
arguments are about unexpected expenses. By maintaining an open line of communication
regarding upcoming bills, you may be able to avoid such confrontations.

Establish Boundaries
Some people are spenders while others are savers. It’s important for a couple to be on the
same page regarding their finances. How much can be spent per month on non-essentials?
How much is too much for a new pair of shoes? Establish and agree upon a few basic
guidelines and structure for how you will spend and save money. If one of you is more
disciplined than the other, you may consider having the disciplined spouse manage the monthly
budget and spending.

Maintain Transparency
Most often, one spouse acts as the financial manager of the household, paying and maintaining
all bills, budgets, savings, investments, and insurance policies. However, it can be helpful for
both partners to understand their spending versus their saving. If time allows, sit down together
once a month to review credit card statements, account transactions, and other bills and check
for any possible errors. This helps you both recognize any spending patterns and stay on the
same track with your financial goals.

Enlist the Help of an Objective Third-Party
Sometimes the best way to ease money tensions is to work with an objective third-party,
whether that’s a financial advisor, a marriage counselor, or both. A financial advisor can work
with you and your spouse together to review your financial landscape, identify any gaps in your
coverage, assist you in establishing short and long-term goals, help you stay on track, and
provide professional and knowledgeable advice. Some couples seek guidance from a marriage
counselor for assistance with building stronger lines of communication and compromise.
Although spending and budgeting can cause tension, it doesn’t have to become a constant
source of concern in a relationship. Invest the time to address spending habits and savings
goals, uphold transparency regarding bills, and communicate effectively (whether that’s
amongst the two of you or with the help of an advisor or counselor).

As a former therapist and current financial advisor, I enjoy working closely with couples and
helping them establish healthy financial habits, work through life transitions, and pursue their
goals. If you have questions about your financial situation or more ways to communicate about
money, I’d be happy to help. Give my office a call at 817.744.8450 or send me an email at
tom@teaktreecapital.com.

Tom Chancellor is a Certified Financial Planner Professional helping clients enhance their financial peace of mind. Tom spent 20 years as a marriage and family therapist and now incorporates resources from psychology, communications, and relationship studies in financial planning for people who experience life-changing events. Tom helps his clients and other financial professionals respond to life transitions such as divorce, death of a spouse, retirement, receipt of an inheritance and legal settlements. Contact Tom with questions at tom@teaktreecapital.com.
 
Securities offered through Comprehensive Asset Management and Servicing, Inc. (“CAMAS”), 2001 Hwy 46, Ste. 506, Parsippany,  NJ 07054,1-800-637-3211.  Member FINRA/SIPC. Teak Tree Capital Management, LLC,  is independent of CAMAS.